On relationships: How to break out of the friend zone (Part 14)

As I have previously written about the “Guanyin soldier” (觀音兵), many men have faced being “friend zoned.”  I’ve recently came across an article on a guy chasing a woman who wants to remain “just friends.”  After a paragraph into the article, I stopped reading because I got bored, and decided to write my own blog post which will be to the point.  The solution is as simple as 1, 2, 3.

Stop being a wuss and be bold

A woman friend zones you because she doesn’t want to be romantically involved with you, but want to keep you as a “friend” when she needs one.  And the fact you have been “friend zoned” means you asked (whether implicitly or explicitly) whether you could date her.  If you want to date her, date her by your actions.  You don’t need to ask her for permission.  If she doesn’t want to be “dated” then she will reject your moves anyways.

If she isn’t interested, let go

If you pay enough attention, you can tell if she’s interested in you.  Notice the way she speaks, the question she asks, and most importantly, her eye contact.  When she speaks, ignore the content but always consider why she said what she said.  What is she trying to illicit by saying that?  What is she trying to find out?  If she isn’t romantically interested, you can tell by her lack of enthusiasm (unless she’s an Oscar winning actress).  Move on.

Don’t force her friend zone you

You must let go because continuing being her “friend” isn’t going to increase your chances.  On the other hand, letting go will force her to evaluate whether she should be interested in you.  There are plenty of fish in the sea — if she doesn’t consider you as a potential partner then stop wasting your time.  By thinking that you have a “chance” you are only forcing yourself to be friend zoned.  Let go and keep your dignity in tact.

No need to fear rejection

Rejections are a part of life.  We get rejected by the schools we apply to and by the companies we want to work for.  Not everything is a perfect fit.  Rejection is a matter of statistic — if you’re not what the other’s looking for, chances are she will (and she should) reject you.  But you’ll never know if you’ll succeed from chances that you don’t take.  To stop fearing rejection, you must know yourself and appreciate yourself for who you are.

The moral of the story is that you are friend zoned because you allow yourself to.  If you genuinely want to be friend zoned, then this post doesn’t apply to you.  But if you want to break out of the friend zone, or not be friend zoned in the first place, then you need to be bold and grow a pair.  Don’t be afraid to take chances, because you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.  Even if you miss, you’ll find yourself improving your chances with some practice.

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