On relationships: What do women really want? (Part 6)

Further to my post “What do guys look for in a girl?,” I thought I should write a post from (what I think may be) the female’s perspective.  After all, I believe that there are many misconceptions on what women really want.  Women often say they are looking for happiness (幸福), but what does this mean?  I will try to break down basic elements below.  If you disagree with me, I look forward to being corrected, especially by my female friends and readers who would know what they really want better than I do!

Disclaimer: This is only what I think women might look for in a man.  In case of any erroneous views, the errors are due to my lack of experience with women.

Security (安全感)

Women want to be taken care of.  No matter if she is a CEO of a listed company or a school teacher, she wants to be taken care of by her man (or be with a man with the ability to take care of her).  She doesn’t mean that she has to be taken care of by money or material things.  She can make her own money.  But after a long stressful day, she wants to go home and have a shoulder to lean on.  She wants feel secure and safe.  She needs to know that her man will always be there for her no matter how stressful life can be.

Love  (愛)

Please don’t kill me for saying this, but I believe that many women are strong on the outside, but are not as strong as they seem in the inside.  She needs to know that her man will always love her.  She needs to be reassured of this again and again.  This isn’t just about feeling secured, but women have emotional needs.  Women need to be assured that they are loved and cared for.  When women make demands of her man, she’s really asking for reassurance of his love.  This is a woman’s nature.  She wants to be hugged and loved.

Home (家)

I believe that what most women essentially look for is a home.  Women look for a man who she can start a family with.  Family is the foundation of life’s biggest security net.  Family is a woman’s insurance policy because no matter what happens, she will have a warm and happy home to go back to at end of day.  A man is someone who can provide her with a home to build a family.  A home is a safe haven to raise a family, the very core unit of our lives.  Home is the foundation of a family, which is the building block of love and security.

Shelter (安樂窩)

Women want to feel protected.  There are many storms and thunders in life.  Women want a man who can protect her from the turbulent storms outside.  She needs a man who will fight for her and defend her at a moment’s notice without hesitation.  She needs her man to defend her family at all costs and take no prisoners.  She needs a man who will fight with his life, for the love of his life.  If life was a war, she looks for a warrior who will defend her till the end of times.  She needs her man to be strong, to be her white (or dark) knight.

I can only guess what women might want in a man.  I think what they look for are variations of the above.  There might be other variables, such as some women looking for more financial security, whilst others romance.  But I think those variables would invariably fit into the above common factors.  They say women are like enigmas and men will always fail to decode them.  I tend to think otherwise.  I believe women aren’t as complex as most men believe, but are merely looking for a few simple things: security, love, home, and shelter.  Now, it’s up to us men to man up.


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