On relationships: You are your best Valentine (Part 3)

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  For couples, this is a celebration of love, and a marker that you two have grown together for one more year, and the relationship has become stronger.  But if you don’t have a girlfriend (or boyfriend), this might be a long-dreaded time of the year.  In this part of the “Relationship” series, I will discuss that you, and no one else, are your best Valentine.

Learn to love yourself first

Whether you are in a relationship or not, you should always learn to love yourself.  You cannot look for a girlfriend (or boyfriend) to fill in your void.  You have to fill in your own void.  For some people, being alone means loneliness.  They just don’t know how to spend their time alone.  Solution – find out what you want to do with your life.  Learn hobbies.  Pursue your interests.  Do what is meaningful in your life to make it better.  Don’t rely on another person to make your life better.

Love another the way you want to be loved

Even if you don’t have a girlfriend (or boyfriend), I believe you should always have the right mind on relationships.  This will always help you attract the right person.  It is very simple – always love the other the way you wish to be loved.  Always give first before asking for something in return.  In this life, we should never ask for others to give us things.  We should always contribute first.  If you follow this rule, you will always have plenty in the future – the right person will come your way soonest.

Loving another is loving yourself

Some people seek love because they feel a void and want to be find it from others.  They only want others to love them.  This is not love.  This is a form of insecurity which almost inevitably leads to strained relationships.  You will be constantly asking, but the other person will be very tired from always having to contribute.  You will tire out the other.  You should not be seeking love from another, because love for yourself should come from you.  Only if love within you is plentiful, you will be able to share it with another person.

Look forward and improve yourself

People want to be with someone who can make them better people.  You have to constantly improve yourself and be the type of person another would look up to.  If you do not improve yourself, why should another person want to be with you?  You have to create value for yourself in order for another person to want to be with you.  If you are not improving yourself (mentally, physically, spiritually), you cannot expect another person to want to invest his or her time in you.  Being with you is essentially investing a part of his or her life.  Relationship is a big investment.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, we should always remind ourselves not to lose sight of our goals in life – what we really want to pursue in our lives – and work towards them by making ourselves better.  Being driven is what makes us attractive.  Even if you are single now, having a positive outlook in life will attract the right person for you sooner rather than later.  Finally, I cannot stress this enough – loving another is the best way to love yourself.  The greatest strength in life, is to love.

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